those were the days

soooooooo hey big head ,

long time no talk. but im back now for good, whatever that may mean. a lot has happened since i last wrote on here. i fell in love and also got my heart broken, which fucking sucks. but i guess turn that heart break into art.....! haha kill me now.

anyways, break ups are the fucking worst. i cannot explain how terrible they are. you just have to sort of let go of your favorite person/best friend/significant other and it feels like your world is falling apart. the worst part is how the only person you want to talk about how you feel is the person you have to leave. eventually though the tears do stop even though they seem like a never ending waterfall. 

i don't mean to make this a depressing pity post either, especially since its february and valentines day is around the corner. i just had to set the mood because i actually want to share the best breakup albums as i get back into this whole #blogging #grind. these have all really helped me since i have not been able to stop listening to them these past few months. maybe ill write more about falling in love and breaking up later on when it doesn't make me completely #emo. but for anyone hurting, these albums are for you.

MY WOMAN // ANGEL OLSEN

GOD BLESS ANGEL OLSEN. SHE REALLY IS MY WOMAN AND KNOWS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. honestly truly i cannot explain how much this album is #####me. if you're delusional and still hopelessly in love with your ex, but annoyed at how stupid he can be, then this is for YOU. especially with lyrics like "we could still be having some sweet memories, this heart still beats for you, why don't you see it?" it feels impossible to get over this one person and olsen really knows how to write it in words. its truly saddening, but her soft voice brings comfort when its needed. she also reminds me that boys aint shit and i just have to take care of myself.

MELOPHOBIA // CAGE THE ELEPHANT

somehow started listening to cage the elephant again and im so glad i did. i actually spent my last car ride with him, when we were no longer together, singing along to this when suddenly he stopped to note how great of a breakup album this is. i couldn't agree more. it makes you want to dance and scream, while you're trying to get over someone who once meant the world for you. take it or leave it and halo personally hits me the hardest and i hate it. even though the lyrics are depressing as hell, it truly does make me feel happy in the moment.

NEVER HUNGOVER AGAIN // JOYCE MANOR

ironically driving down the freeway way past the speed limit with falling in love again blasting has become my favorite pastime. the irony is that this was my ex's favorite thing to do. maybe i do it because i feel like he's with me. or maybe i just like to feel like an angsty teen who thinks my life is completely over. who knows but pop punk is always here to cure breakups. especially when shouting lyrics like suck a titty by the ocean. no, but really. these lyrics hit home with words such as "i start to feel it fade away, theres nothing i could do, at the end of the sUMMMMMERRRRR, TRIED TO IMAGINE THERES A WAY FOR ME AND YOUUU."

NOTHING YET // SURF CURSE

shoutout to surf curse for releasing this right when i needed it the most. the happy guitar riffs that goes hand in hand with depressing ass songs have really helped my healing process. again packed with lyrics i wish i was able to say with tracks like the strange and the kind, nostalgia, and all is lost. 10/10 recommend playing while dancing maybe somewhat crying and hating everything that has happened.

BLONDE // FRANK OCEAN

this one is the absolute worst and will no doubt leave you crying for days. whoever hurt frank thank you because i have also been hurt and needed these songs to relate to. but also fuck you because i wish these songs didnt exist so i wouldn't be soda pressed. don't listen to ivy and self control if you love yourself. but if you're like me and don't, then listen and remember how it felt when you first told each other i love you as you reminisce over how fucking great things once were.

i have not experienced anything worse than a breakup. maybe this is just me being dramatic. maybe because he was my first love. i don't know. but they emotionally, mentally, and physically hurt. however, thats life and shit happens but you live and you learn. plus sosadtoday becomes 10x more relatable  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ even though it seems like my world is ending right before my eyes, it does become easier as i somewhat torture help myself by playing all of these albums back to back. and hey at least all off those shitty cliches like time heals all wounds really do hold some truth. 

xoxo