cancer season was harsh. a lil too harsh if im being honest. it was the most i cried in a while and i felt that there was no need to write about anything. or else it was just going to be me crying. and i mean my writing is usually like that, but cancer season made it different. however, abandoning my blog so early in the summer meant abandoning it throughout the entire summer. now theres only a week left and the urge to write again is creeping upon me. so here we are, catching up once again.
past: cried a lot and was extra sensitive. boundaries were crossed and my trust issues sky rocketed. became obsessed with rico nasty. lost feelings for someone i thought i was never going to get over. received my first tattoo (not the one pictured, i stole it from tumblr shhhh). felt very one sided in almost all of my friendships. thirst followed the boys from school that i've had the Phattest crushes on. bleached my out grew bangs. felt like my head was all over the place. saw the drums for free. accidentally flirted too much. stupidly bought a skateboard that i cannot return.
present: just bought my ticket to see the garden in brooklyn again. used to not be able to stand them, but they some how managed to crawl into my top favorite bands and i regret making fun of everyone for listening to them. but hey at least i haven't started listening to the growlers. current joys concert tonight for the third time this summer. in the midst of an identity crisis which consists of hating my clothes, my music taste, my hair, and feeling like i lost every cool aspect of myself. constantly torn between being excited and scared about returning to school. deciding between black and white air forces. taking a break from tinder and talking to boys.
future: going back to new york in exactly a week, but i do not know where i will be staying the first two nights. moving with my friends on the 21st floor. hoping to make new friends who are also indie bitches. taking a writing class that i think will help shape me into a modern day carrie bradshaw. seeing blood orange and then alex g. flying back to la just for tropicalia. restyling my entire closet and planning on beating nyc's winter. buying my own blog domain. and eventually i will fall in love again.
xoxo
xoxo
yesss gurl, soo happy you're back to blogging lmao I've spent all summer checking your blog just-in-case. Sucks that cancer season was so harsh for you, I definitely feel like one of those totally shit months where all you do is cry is kind of necessary once in a while, just to put everything back into perspective and cleanse tha souuuul. It sounds like youve been up to/are up to/are going to do some sick stuff, forever wishing I could just vicariously live ur life. Your love life sounds complicated lmao but maybe some time away from boys will show you your self worth???? and I hope you solve the identity crisis soon, u are legit one of the coolest people I know. Ok, thats enough fangirling. Hype that you're back and hope the start back at school is okay xo
ReplyDeleteI feel you!!! Recently I feel like I've been going through a life/identity/ everything crisis and I just don't know what feels right, what clothes, what music, what people, I just wander around being a different person from day to day! You chatting about these concerts make me incredibly jealous, I wanted my summer filled with festivals and I didn't even make it to one, may be next year! Good luck going back to school, wishing my life was going back to NYC but hopefully one day I will!xxxx
ReplyDeleteLucy Jane | Infinity of Fashion
omd so many sick concerts taKE ME W U! Glad ur back xoxo
ReplyDeleteAin't life great!
ReplyDeleteGood luck getting back on the path. At least now you can try all the styles and have fun with it! Also your concert record is amazing~