nostalgia

nostalgia sure is a bitch!

once again, i have procastinated and left a 6 page essay to do in one night. still, here i am typing away on my laptop about anything but machiavelli's the prince. instead, im thinking about summer.

my day dreams for the past couple of months have been of the sun, warmth, and overall california. its really strange too because i was looking forward to leaving that state So Bad. but here i am waiting to go back. don't get me wrong, i will miss new york and my college friends and living on my own, but i cannot wait to be back at the beach looking at pink sunset skies. there hasn't been a sunset that compares.

this romanticization of california is new. i am even craving an in-n-out burger when i know shake shack and five guys is so much better. but it is what it is. i think i just really miss last summer. i kno i talked about last year being the absolute worst and it may have been. but i was also just being ~dramatic.~ i may have spent a majority of last summer crying, but it was also one of my favorites.

i miss being / that / close to my friends. seeing so many of my favorite bands live multiple times. and of course my pink hair.

i know this is really just nostalgia talking but i can't help to give in. i miss it and can't stop thinking about the shorter days and longer nights i'll have in about a month back in the city i wanted to runaway from. i think these old pictures i found didn't help too much either.

i think they really capture how i now see california/los angeles. with a big hue of pink over it all that doesn't seem quite right in new york. skinny, shorts, and bodysuits without a jacket have all seem so out of place in new york lately. but they all really happen to be the essence of who i am.

but who knows, maybe once i go back ill realize it wasn't as great as it seems and ill have another dissociation episode and cry myself to sleep because i love the east village n the east village only! bc u kno thats just how nostalgia b sometimes. hyping up things to be way better than it actually was.

ill see u soon though los angeles

xoxo